Today I wanted to try something that I have not done before. I decided to do something monochromatic using only black. I found an image on Pinterest of some simple black trees that I decided looked easy enough. The image that I found for inspiration looked like they used a fan brush. I was honestly shocked when I looked in my collection of brushes and wasn’t able to find a fan brush! I decided to use the little sponge like one that you can see in the photo above. I was actually surprised by how well it worked for the look that I was going for.
For this painting session, I really really tried to not limit myself by attempting perfection. I tried to just be sort of messy with it and just freely create. This approach definitely stuck with me for the rest of this project and I had some wonderful results from it. It has been to interesting to see the mental struggles that I have had with myself in the process of creating. I have never seen myself as a perfectionist but it has become so evident to me that with my strong desire to create art that looks beautiful, I feel the encompassing need to “not mess it up”. However, when I intentionally remove those chains of attempted perfection, I not only have a much more pleasant experience, but I also am always happy with the outcome (even if my painting is not “perfect”).
This was definitely not a painting that I finished and was like “WOW, I AM SUCH AN ARTIST”, but it was a session that I finished with a whole new perspective. I think that there are a lot of things in life where we limit ourselves by a desire for perfection, maybe without even realizing it. This is becoming clear to me throughout this project as I feel like I have to create something that is good enough to post about or it is a waste of my time because I can’t use it for my “final product” or documentation of this project. That right there is what I think that this project is all about. It is not about what I can create that looks beautiful enough to post about. It is about the process of creating and the feelings and emotions that arise in doing so. I never thought that I would have so many different thoughts and feelings come to the surface as I painted. I think that this has made my initial intention for this project became so much more evident. These sessions really are not just the physical painting of the pictures, it is the emotional, mental, and spiritual aspects as well. I wasn’t sure if painting would actually benefit my “holistic” wellbeing as much as I had hoped, but it’s impact is becoming so so clear to me. I believe that the main reason for this is that when painting it is the only time throughout my entire day that I intentionally remove myself from all of the distractions in my daily life and quiet my mind from all the thoughts and worries of the day and just let myself create – and it has been wonderful.
Caitlin Kendall 